Go ‘Merica.
Yes, I said it.
This is an ode to the USA.
What I like about the US is that we can say, “Really?”, and no one will arrest us for doubting or questioning.
A black president. Really? Hell to the yes. ‘Nough said.
Hohos for breakfast. Really? Yes, yes, I think I will have another. Not in France. They have socialized medicine. They do not like chubbos. I think that if I lived there, they would set a trap for me. I would open my door to find a trail of ‘Merican Hoho tid bits leading out of my fab flat and down the Rue (like that? I am tres Francais). Once they had me out, they would capture me and make me ride through the countryside on a bike with a basket full of French flowers until my derriere was a size French small (French small is very small). And, you know what? I would like it. Because I like hohos, and bikes, and the French country side. But, I don’t live in a French flat. So, I can eat hohos for breakfast if I want. Really? I could, but I don’t. But I could. But I won’t.
Haters be hatin. Really? Yes, they be hatin. And it doesn’t matter. That is what you say when you don’t give a rip about what others think. We can do that in America.
A kid named America. Really? True that. I have met him. Fine boy. I’m unsure if there are any other countries in which they name their children the same. “Come, come, China, help me build this great wall” - too confusing. “Hey, Brazil, what kind of wax do you use…..on your car?” Doesn’t work so well. But it does in America!
Hoochie Momma Shorts and bum crack jeans. Really? Yes! And they are worn by EVERYONE. Those that should and, especially, those that shouldn't. They are both the popular choice worn by Americans who eat hohos for breakfast. Where are those French when we need them?
I am going to keep this short, for now. I have to go pack up my mobile, pay a lot for gas, and then head out to the good old beach where I will fly my flag, eat my hot dogs, and drink my drank.
For all the ridiculous things that happen in this country, and all the crazy things people say and do as they exercise their freedoms, and as much as the rest of the world must, at times, scratch their collective heads in wonder at the American nuttiness of this great land…I am with you 100%. Even if sometimes my head just about explodes in frustration when contemplating politics, health insurance companies, irrational bigotry, and Supersized McDonald’s gluttony, I am very proud to be an American. Happy 4th of July; may it rain Ho-Hos at the beach for you!
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