Maui Waui

Some things I liked and miss about Maui: 

-The hot Hawaiian dudes who climb the coconut trees at the luaus. It's a little phallic and that is weird since he is a dude. But I like him because he can, not because he did. Oh and those muscles are really quite something.

Possible Joke:  Why did the Hawaiian guy climb the coconut tree?  Who cares?  I just know that I was there and witnessed it.   

Jeez Oh Pete, somebody ring the alarm.

-My balcony with a cup of coffee in the morning. There aren't any Hawaiian dudes hanging out in the trees outside of it, but it is lovely nonetheless.  

-The little girl at the pool,  who says to her older sister as she jumps in the water,  "I'm a mermaid with 2 legs".

-Sunrise.

-Sunset.

-Sunrise.

-Sunset.

My balcony, in the afternoon,  with a mai tai mixed fresh by my loving husband.  Sorry Hawaiian dudes, I've got my own stuff going on now.

-When a certain person in my life says, "I can't go in there (Safeway), I don't have enough clothes on".   Whaaaat?   Did I hear that right?  That came out of her mouth and not mine? And that is how the "princess" became the 'hoochie momma" for a day.  This all leads back to the fact she had to hike up her shirt and fold down her shorts so her hip henna tattoo would dry, while we walked about shopping in Lahaina. Ha! Gotta love this world I live in – a lesson which was not taught by mean old me but by the evil stares of other women!  Thank you, prudish mean ladies of Front St., your work here is done.

-The giant Hawaiian guy playing the baby guitar.  (I know it is a ukulele, but I like to call it a baby guitar because that is what it looks like.)

 -The couple making-out like fiends in an alcove in Lahaina. In the daytime.  You don't usually see this degree of “love” unless there is very bad music accompanying it and you have to pay $13.99 to see it.  But they had The Cheeseburger in Paradise musician unknowingly singing them on.  Good on you, sex crazed couple.  I’m pretty sure that they too were the recipients of some of the same evil stares that were directed at “hoochie momma”.

-Leoda's Pies.  OMG!  I have died and gone to Maui.  (fyi: Maui = Heaven)  Do NOT drive by this place - you must stop and eat pie.  No one has died in the making of these pies, except me! I'm drooling a little as I type this.   

-My family in Hawaii on vacation. They are fun and I love them. (You too, Son. Sorry you couldn't be there with us. But I know you are trying to make something of yourself at your La-Dee-Da University. Yeah, yeah. Go Huskies. But this Coug WAS IN MAUI looking at the coconut trees...and stuff.)

Did I say how much I liked those pies?