Why Don't You Act Your Age?

Not me — but she IS cool.

I’m not totally sure I am cool, but I know for sure that some days I am 100% fo realz. Just sayin.

My daughter got in the car the other day, and in our usual exchange of pleasantries, she asked me how my day was. I said, “Totes cray cray”.  She blankly looked at me and then said, “don’t ever say that again”.

Why?  I can’t express myself? 

She said it’s just too weird. 

They are just words.  She says them, how come I can’t?

Oppression.

Word. It’s oppression, dude. Straight up.

She did look like she might want to wash my mouth out with soap.  Where did she learn that look anyway?

There are a lot of rules in life.  The hard ones are the unwritten ones – those are also the ones, if broken, will get you shunned or worse, a tongue lashing by your teenager about how you are NOT cool and you are NOT funny, AT ALL.

Some of the rules are tricky. But, I don't let that stop me.

At what age do you have to stop using the latest “lingo”  — spoken and written?   I don’t want to stop. I like it.  English can be a very boring language.  Blah Blah Blah – see what I mean?  I want some Tabasco on the side, thank you.  I like that spice, and I like to play with words.  If someone comes up with a new way of saying something, I am on it.

“Totes cahz”  -- I want to use that, but haven’t found the right instance to spring it into action. “I’m having a luncheon to celebrate Jane’s retirement, it’s totes cahz. nbd.” 

I’m down with that.

I don’t use LMFAO.  It doesn’t sound fun nor comfortable.  Sounds very intense.  Might hurt. So, you won’t catch me typing LMFAO anytime soon, if I can help it.  I already have to wear pants with pockets because my daughter says I don’t have enough junk in the trunk.  Laughing any more off could incite the shunning or at least an unbridled eye rolling disapproval.

I do, however, like the traditional, “hahahahaha”.  I’ve used “bahahahaha” before because I actually made that sound when I laughed.  I try to be true to my spirit.  I’ve used, “hehehehe”, but it does make me uncomfortable because I see “heh heh heh” – totes perv.

I like saying, “dude”. What’s wrong with me? 

I’m not trying to be young.  I am, however, younger than an old-as-dust-nearly-dead-person.  But, I’m not in the lingo creation age group either.  I like the variety of expression it offers me.  It appeals to my senses – they are one of the few things that are still keen on me.  It makes me smile inside when I use them.  And, I can see it is shocking to my children as I test the boundaries of acceptable.  (Welcome to my world, teens.  Mu-ahahahaha!)

Tbh, I like Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Karmin & Macklemore too.  

I think I am going to mom hell.  Where kids send “hip” parents.

I must be cray cray, here’s my number, don’t call me maybe.

Key:

Fo realz             = really real

Totes cray cray   = totally CRAZY

Totes cahz          = totally casual

Nbd                    = no big deal

LMFAO              = laugh my f***ing a$$ off

Tbh                    = to be honest